Tis the Season to be Misgiving

(drafted on 26 December ‘09)

Had my usual soccer game today morning.
Played til noon time,
decided to buy my lunch on my way home.
Sunny weather indeed.

But all of a sudden,
the skies became gloomy and it started pouring the next moment.
My house was only a bridge away,
and I was stuck in between.
The rain was too heavy for me to run across,
hence I decided to take shelter and have my lunch.

Chicken rice it would be,
with rain water constantly being sprinkled on it.
After I had my meal,
I decided to shift into somewhere with more cover as the rain got outrageously heavier.
Armed with only my phone and shoe bag,
I decided to fiddle around with my phone.

I started going through my inbox,
boy, as I went through them, I was thinking to myself.
As much as I wanted to read the messages of the past,
I knew it would hurt.
I didn’t had the courage to do so,
for fear that I might be reminded of what was it that pierced a hole in my heart.

After a long thought,
I decided to open them up & read them through.
In fact,
all of the messages were received during my time in BMT.
I kept them til now,
as I was scrolling, unknowingly I started deleting some of them.
The thunder continued to pound loudly,
as though the thunder drums were right by my ear.

When I got to my senses,
I realised those deleted weren’t of much importance.
However, messages from her took me at least 30secs to ponder before hitting the ‘delete’ button.
The ones that are left,
are those I felt that still contain a certain level of meaning & memories.
他们说过，有些事情不能勉强。我也不回去逞强。

I drafted all of these in the midst of a pouring rain, before falling asleep under the void deck. ..